Cover Snark: Smushed and Veiny

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Welcome back to Cover Snark! There are definitely certain elements taking center stage today.

From Karen: The Most Eligible Viscount in London by Ella Quinn (it’s a new book). As a whole, the cover is quite nice but I was struck by the very weird thumb on the hero’s hand. It looks like it would be longer than any of the other fingers. I think somebody did a very bad Photoshop and it’s kind of creepy. Her covers are frequently beautifully done by Jon Paul Ferrara but I don’t know who did this one.

Sarah: “Oooh, pretty…is the thumb weird?”

zooms in

“Yeah. The thumb’s weird.”

Claudia: It’s the thumb of doom!

Elyse: That’s right up there with the heroine with three hands.

Sarah: I cannot tell you how long I have been looking at my own hand trying to figure out if my thumb looks like that.

Elyse: Having met you, I can assure you it does not.

Sarah: I mean, maybe it does and my thumbs have grown since then?

Claudia: Zooming in also calls attention to the heroine’s strange neck pallor!

Lara: That pallor is REAL. I want to make a joke about his touch being as cold as ice… but his hand’s too pink to make it work.

Susan: I can’t remember if we’ve had this cover recently, or if this bear just gets a lot of work.

The way that child is lit and dressed looks a little Ghost of a Sad Victorian Child Haunting The Doll In Your Attic

Lara: That kid does not look as invested in her dad’s dating life as maybe she could be. Or rather, maybe she IS invested and would just prefer someone that is NOT YOU.

Sarah: This is giving me all the creeps.

Amanda: The face the girl is making me gives me “Ain’t I a stinker” vibes. Bet she lured the bear there to get back at some snotty step parent.

From Lils: The hair is just too much…..plus, it looks like he was compressed, removing half his torso to fit the cover. Bonus veins.

Sarah: I will say, I have had that feeling when I have a really fun idea but usually I have a shirt.

Also his nipple is looking at me.

Amanda: The more I look at it, the more smushed he seems.

Elyse: Someone needs a medicated shampoo.

Lara: He needs that shampoo STAT because growing a crown of antler-thorns is not okay by any means.

Dee: Color me surprised when this showed up as a recommendation on Kindle. I knew I had to share it as cover snark when the friend I sent it to said “There’s something about that man’s body that frightens me. His abs look like eclairs, Dee!”

And I did not buy it. I put a hard no on psychopaths.

Sarah: He’s very dehydrated. Very. Maybe he’s not a psychopath, clean or otherwise. He’s really cranky because he’s so freaking thirsty.

Elyse: He’s a phlebotomist’s dream though

Amanda: I, personally, have great veins for blood draws and I’m proud of that.

Sneezy: I want eclairs.

Sarah: Me too.

Lara: Is he…pouting? Or is that strain of some kind? His face is just so… tight. Also, let’s make that three eclairs

Sneezy: Let’s get three dozen to start. We all deserve it.

Lara: You’re so right, Sneezy! Eclairs for all!

Sneezy: does the Eclairs Dance to “It’s Raining Men”.

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