Cover Snark: Traitorous Nipples

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Can you believe it? It’s our first Cover Snark of 2022!

From LM

Elyse: No

Sarah: I have. No words. None. None words.

Elyse: I refuse.

Maya: Can I just say that kerning hurts my feelings more than the collection of haunted dolls, I mean children.

Elyse: It’s book 9, you guys. There are 8 more of these.

It’s like a haunted regency mannequin bonanza

Claudia: OMG I’m going to have nightmares!

Sneezy: NOOOOOOOO!!!! IT WASN’T ME!!!!! WHATEVER IT WAS I DIDN’T DO IT!!!!! MERCY!!!!! MERCY!!!!! GET THEM AWAY FROM MEE!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

From Leah: There is much confused staring at this one, I guess the priest collar is impervious to being ripped open.

Elyse: It looks like someone is standing behind him like those aren’t his arms.

Sarah: The perspective is really odd, isn’t it?

I’m impressed with the alignment that allows his nipples to look at the title.

Lara: I’m a little sketchy on religious detail, but aren’t priests supposed to take a vow of poverty?

Sarah: Maybe the thing that makes him a billionaire is his exclusive use of the metal that’s holding his collar on despite the rest of his shirt yielding to his rather tiny T-Rex arms?

Tara: According to his face, he’s wondering whose arms those are.

Catherine: That shirt ripping move looks so wrong with a priest’s collar. And yeah, billionaire priests? I don’t think so.

But also, is he a billionaire werewolf priest? Because the pattern of chest hair is really weird! Super furry pecs and no hair on his abdomen? It looks very odd.

If he’s mid-transformation that would excuse the shirt ripping, though….

Sneezy: He should start with the collar then!!!! At this rate he’ll get the Darwin Award before the Vatican boots him out.

Elyse: I don’t know what’s worse, the dragon is the way his head looks glued on

Sneezy: It’ll be a while before anything can compare to Mr Four Arms, but this is so annoyingly blah

And my knee jerk reaction is the dragon, but then I notice Knock-off Ken

Tara: So is the dragon coming out of his butt? Or is he half man, half fire dragon, but it’s a top half for both of them?

Lara: Also who exactly is the traitor in this scenario?

Sneezy: The nipples

They’re clearly trying to pop off and start their own dragon butt colony

Catherine: I’ve heard of dragon breath, but dragon farts must be absolutely lethal…

Elyse: Fisher has dragon farts, 100%

He can clear a room

Smell mah farts

Susan: This cover on its own is just “eh” but I thought the title said ballerina

A ballerina prince is WAY more interesting

Carrie: Same and agree. Also he looks a little like a discount Keanu Reeves so now I want to watch a made-for-netflix garbage movie called The Ballerina Prince’s Girlfriend starring Keanu Reeves as famous retired ballet dancer looking for love.

Susan: Take my money!

Sneezy: WANT!!!!!!!!

AJ: A) do want and B) glad I’m not the only one who saw Keanu Reeves

Amanda: Sometimes the snark is the awesome plots you missed out along the way.

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