If Romance Novels Have Taught Me Anything… (A Tweet Round Up)

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If you spend much time on that infamous bird app, you know that despite its flaws, you can count on Twitter for a good laugh. I remember crying laughing when Black Twitter made fun of the idea that the COVID vaccine was going to stop Black people from developing superpowers.

Likewise, Book Twitter has had its share of true gems. Earlier this summer, bookish users explained why they would be deleting their dating apps. The trend was to say you’d rather meet someone the old fashioned way (insert witty romance novel anecdote). (My personal fave was “he loves me most ardently, I could never be prevailed upon to marry him.”)

Well, friends, Twitter is at it again. This time, users are sharing what they’ve learned from romance novels. Enjoy laughing at this compilation of the top tweets, while also possibly getting some great book recommendations.

If Romance Novels Have Taught Me Anything

Most of these Tweets quote others, so you can get a 2 for 1 laugh! For example, you know what happens when you start fake dating a man AND how said man will smell.

if romance novels have taught me anything, it’s that fake dating always leads to real dating https://t.co/A0b6BJKfXo

— Rose Lerner (@RoseLerner) August 6, 2021

Of course, should you end up traveling with a potential love interest, you have to be prepared for the inevitable. Furthermore, be careful when taking on new jobs. Otherwise, you might end up in KJ Charles’s Slippery Creatures.

If romance novels have taught me anything, it’s that there’s more than one way to have a bumpy carriage ride.

— Ash Dylan (@AshDylanLit) August 6, 2021

If romance novels have taught me anything, it’s that hotels only have one room left every night, and that room will have one bed. https://t.co/7j3jfALdNr

— Jen (@JenReadsRomance) August 6, 2021

Are you around a potential love interest in winter? You’d better check your weather app.

If Romance novels have taught me anything, it’s that if I ever get snowed in anywhere when single, I shouldn’t worry as I will be trapped with a single, gruff, emotionally wounded man who I will end up marrying. https://t.co/PnoeyLcxsj

— Scorchingrevs ❤ 📚🌶 (@Scorchingrevs) August 7, 2021

Do you have a rich relative? Well, they definitely have ulterior motives when they leave you property.

If romance novels have taught me anything, if a great-aunt leaves you a house in a small town, the next door neighbour will be a gorgeous handyman who will happen to be fixing the gutters when you lock yourself out.

— Lisa MacColl (@lisamaccoll) August 7, 2021

That gorgeous neighbor will wear plaid and notice your beauty when you’re busy appreciating some charming view.

If romance novels have taught me anything, it’s that the city girl in high heels WILL fall into a mud puddle only to find a well-muscled helping arm extended by a Man in Plaid who runs the small town cheese shop… https://t.co/MmZzp1NXqV

— Laurie Batzel (@lbatc2_lou) August 6, 2021

Also, if only we could go back to Regency England, we’d surely be well married.

If romance novels have taught me anything, it’s that there were thousands of good looking, youngish noblemen in Regency England and 75% of them had been too long without a woman at the time they met the heroine. (The other 25% are in bed w/a woman who is not the heroine on p. 1) https://t.co/uVC5Qykjmj

— Manda Collins 🐈🐦🐻 (@MandaCollins) August 6, 2021

Although we’d have to meet the criteria first.

If romance novels have taught me anything, it’s that if you want to marry a handsome and rich nobleman, you have to be a quirky wallflower. https://t.co/ZJBcP0Abat

— India Holton (@IndiaHolton) August 6, 2021

And, of course, we must all be ready for THIS moment. (Hopefully the moment isn’t with our new boss.)

If romance novels have taught me anything, it’s that if he tucks a rogue strand of hair behind my ear, it will create an electrical disturbance in the atmosphere and we will live happily ever after. https://t.co/pQQHAjjgt9

— AnaKarina Vorbeck Suarez (@AKwritesnow) August 6, 2021

If you’re looking into their eyes when they tuck that hair behind your ear, watch out!

If romance novels have taught me anything, it’s that if you notice the color of flecks in someone’s eyes and it makes you release the breath you didn’t know you were holding, hold on to your fucking hat. https://t.co/8iCZyhzZVr

— Ash Dylan (@AshDylanLit) August 6, 2021

Be careful, though. These lovers don’t need close proximity to woo you.

If romance novels have taught me anything, it’s that if he leans against a doorjamb and crosses his arms, I might as well give up now and fall in love. https://t.co/pAVfLLNQvE

— Melissa Blue, Glorious Purpose (@mel_thegreat) August 6, 2021

Those crossed arms WILL feature rolled up sleeves.

If romance novels have taught me anything, it’s to roll up the sleeves of my dress shirts. https://t.co/FsAESt27zQ

— Steve Ammidown is taking a break from here (@stegan) August 6, 2021

If noblemen, rugged small town types, or people amenable to fake dating for mutual gain don’t catch your fancy, don’t worry. Here’s one for fans of Twilight and other books about the hot and undead.

if romance novels taught me anything, it’s that an ancient vampire will fall in love with me and my quirky ways, then turn me into a vampire so we can live happily ever after and have hot sex everywhere https://t.co/R1E4QVun2n

— aunt honey 🖤🥀✨ (@sinnsatinsheets) August 6, 2021

Finally, just because you’re not looking for love doesn’t mean it won’t find you.

If romance novels have taught me anything, the enemy you have been sworn to kill will be the one you can’t live without.

— Celestine Martin *On Hiatus Until Sept 1st* (@jellybeanrae) August 6, 2021

If romance novels have taught me anything, it’s that swearing off dating is a sure fire way to find The One. https://t.co/3uhf54EqMi

— Kristen Casey (@authorkcasey) August 6, 2021

What have romance novels taught you?

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